SNAFU MODE Engaged
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
Systemic Normalcy Always Fails Us
Classification: “High-functioning breakdown.”
Operational Frame: Truth under fire. Irony under oath. Honor under siege.
🚨 EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
Thirteen pissed-off colonies file for cosmic divorce from a narcissistic imperial landlord.
Citing tyranny, taxation, and a total disregard for consent, they compile receipts. The document is half breakup letter, half legal affidavit, and entirely a middle finger forged in quill ink and divine fire.
🧠 MISSION INTENT
“When in the course of human events…”
Translation:
Sometimes the gears grind so bad that the whole machine needs retooling. Not tweaking. Not oiling. Total teardown. When the system goes full SNAFU, moral obligation demands reboot—preferably with bayonets and a declaration.
🔥 THREAT ASSESSMENT
Enemy: George III, CEO of Empire Inc.
Tactics:
Blocking legislation
Quartering troops
Warping justice
Taxing without representation
Weaponizing bureaucracy
Ignoring basic decency
Pattern of abuse confirmed.
Colonial patience exceeded operational threshold.
⚖️ RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Natural Law + Nature’s God → Authority Over Empire.
Rights aren't permissions. They’re constants.
Life. Liberty. Pursuit of happiness. Not negotiable.
Government’s job? Guard the damn perimeter.
If it fails? Replace it. Burn the manual if needed.
📋 SITUATIONAL REPORT: GRIEVANCES LOG
Total Incidents: 27+
Repeated obstruction of laws
Mock trials at sea
Military overreach
Economic strangulation
Psychological warfare via tyranny
Insult to dignity through silence and scorn
This is less a list and more a trauma inventory. Every line: a betrayal in boots and wigs.
🧭 STRATEGIC DECISION
Enough.
Diplomacy exhausted.
Petitions unanswered.
Gaslighting from the throne complete.
Moral compass points to action.
🕊️ FINAL TRANSMISSION
We don’t ask.
We declare:
These colonies are FREE and INDEPENDENT STATES.
We owe you nothing.
We trust in Providence, not Parliament.
And we sign this not in ink—but in blood, sweat, and sacred honor.
💣 POST-SCRIPT: “THE REALITY ON THE GROUND”
Rebellion is not chaos.
Revolution is not madness.
It’s the system reminding itself that silence isn’t peace, and obedience isn’t loyalty.
In SNAFU terms?
The chain of command failed. The grunts rewrote the doctrine.