“In the late 1970s, a new front opened in the fight over medical cannabis in the United States.”

This playbook teaches you how to find the right staffers, g”et your message read, and make follow-up impossible to ignore.”

“This clinical review evaluates the efficacy and safety of Zoloft (sertraline) for treating Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).”

“Permit me, in the spirit of candor and civic duty, to tender this humble Petition”

TESTAMENT OF A PHYSICIAN WHO SEES

“Euskara is the ancestral language of the Basque people, spoken in northern Spain (Autonomous Communities of Euskadi and Navarre) and southwestern France (the Northern Basque Country: Lapurdi, Zuberoa, and Nafarroa Beherea).”

“WARNING: The following theatrical proposal has been certified absurd by the Ministry of Silly Plays.”

“The Lightkeeper: The Trial of Robert Randall”
A play in three acts, drawn from the Randall Archive.

🎭 The Lightkeeper: The Trial of Robert Randall Rendered in the Manner of Mr. Charles Dickens, Esquire

“Ah yes, government logic:
Let’s spray a plant that people inhale…”

“I got a little herb, and a whole lotta fight.
This ain’t for pleasure, this is for life—”

“The winds of Reform, though oft promised, remain trapped in a stubborn high-pressure system of Red Tape, producing a thick Fog of Obfuscation that obscures even the most modest Request for Care.”

“Let the reader proceed with clarity of mind, gravity of purpose, and respect for those whose suffering gave rise to this record.”

“The Affidavit of Master John Roe
Rendered Most Humbly Before the Officers of Justice in the State of Wisconsin”

“Yet in secret he continued this treatment, augmenting his conventional medicaments with the herb, and in so doing staved off the encroaching darkness.”

“Permit me, if you please, to answer—though not with powdered wig nor parliamentary flourish, but rather with the ink-stained fingers of a printer, a patient, and a patriot.”

“So line ‘em up—
those weightless friends.”

“No face. No ID. No tag to be scanned.
Just silence and smoke and spaghetti and sand.”

• ✔️ Survived countless experiments without informed consent (ask ACME).

• ✔️ Extensive knowledge of herbal remedies (if ya know what I mean).

• ✔️ Familiar with trauma-informed care (Elmer’s been after me for decades, doc).

• ✔️ Fluent in Medicaid, Medicare, and Malarkey.